


Trying not to think

by azyxy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Community: hp_crossgenfest, Cross-Generation Relationship, F/M, HP Cross Gen Fest 2020, Infidelity, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azyxy/pseuds/azyxy
Summary: She couldn't even remember the last time her and Ron had left the lights on during sex, let alone the last time he’d complimented her, so watching Teddy struggle to keep his hands to his side while she stepped out of her dress was quite the ego boost.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Teddy Lupin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45
Collections: HP Cross Gen Fest 2020





	Trying not to think

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to gracerene for organising this fest! Having spent many years silently giving kudos, I'm excited/nervous to post my first _(completed)_ fic.

'A childhood fighting bad guys means that my incarcerous always comes out scratchy' she replied. 'I thought you'd look hot tied up, but I don't want to hurt you.'

'As if you could.' he said easily, walking towards her, the cut of his Unspeakables robes hinting at the toned body beneath.

'I hope I don't. You know this isn't forever.'

He ignored her and instead cupped her face with his hand, running a thumb over her cheek bone. She felt herself blush.

'These are pretty.' She felt him gently capture her earring. Then he kissed her neck, once, twice, and she shivered as he reached his hand into her tight natural curls at the base of her neck.

'You're stunning Hermione. I can't believe I have you all to myself tonight.'

'Rose and Hugo are at the Potters', a sleepover.' she half-whispered into his ear as his mouth dotted kisses on the corner of her lips, her cheek, down the side of her neck. 'You have me all evening, maybe more.'

He pulled away and looked at her. 'Might you stay?' he asked.

She hadn't stayed before, the handful of times they'd done this. Their affair.

She knew what she was doing was wrong, but in her head it seemed less of a transgression provided she ended the night in her marital bed. Not that Ron was ever home when they did this, her and Teddy. Ron's work at the shop took him to Hogsmeade most weeks and they'd both bought into the lie that it was more convenient for him to stay the night, rather than portkey home and then travel back the next day. At the time he'd reasoned that it gave him a chance to see the kids in term time, but she knew he hadn't travelled to Hogwarts in months.

She dragged her thoughts away from her husband and focused on Teddy's expression as she started undoing the buttons on his shirt. 'I could stay, why don't you persuade me?'

She knew he loved it when she was like this. Playful. Demanding. She'd once confessed to him that she wasn't usually like this with her husband. He'd fucked her so hard that night, possessively even, that the next day she'd had to levitate her work bench and tell her team that she was trying out the muggle standing desk trend.

She pushed his shirt off his shoulders and ran her thumb over his nipple ring, smiling when she heard him suck in a breath. He removed his cufflinks and threw his shirt to the floor before reaching for the zipper on her dress.

She pushed his hands away. 'Patience Teddy, just watch.' She'd come straight from the level ten courtrooms and was still in her work clothes, but she'd worn a slightly more figure hugging dress than she might ordinarily choose in anticipation of their plan to see each other.

It wasn't a strip tease per se, but she took her time pushing her dress over her bra, past her waist, over her hips, and very much enjoyed spotting that tell-tale flash of blue again as his eyes darted over her body.

There was something quite empowering about how turned on he got over her body, even though she knew that at twenty-two he could probably get an erection over a charmed teapot. She couldn't even remember the last time her and Ron had left the lights on during sex, let alone the last time he’d complimented her, so watching Teddy struggle to keep his hands to his side while she stepped out of her dress was quite the ego boost.

He moved to unclasp her bra and she raised her eyebrows.

'Come on Hermione, you're killing me here.' he whined. 'I've been waiting two weeks for tonight, you gotta let me touch. You know what your body does to me.' He looked down and pushed his hips forward slightly. Her gaze followed, down past his abs, to the bulge very much visible in his tight jeans.

'Oh I know.' she murmured, reaching forward to touch him lightly through his jeans. 'But I want to teach you some self control tonight.' She started rubbing him up and down, teasing him slowly. 'I want to come tonight. I want to come a lot.'

Not that he'd ever left her unsatisfied, it wasn't like sex with Ron. Sex with Ron had been good, at one point, but they'd gotten into a routine, lights off, under the covers, eyes tight shut, and even then it was an increasingly rare occurrence. She'd admitted that to Teddy the first night they'd slept together.

She had been quite drunk that evening. Ron had been working away, again, and Teddy had been Harry's date to Draco Malfoy's summer solstice ball after Ginny's Quidditch match had overrun. The plan had been for Ron to catch up with her, but as it got later and later with no word, Hermione had started saying yes to more of the floating champagne flutes. Teddy had asked her to dance after the enchanted fireworks, and as he expertly led her around the dancefloor, one hand firmly on her lower back, for the first time in her married life she thought to herself, why shouldn't she sleep with someone else?

It had been hypothetical at first, but as they'd danced she began imagining what it would be like to take him home, what he'd feel like, what she could do with that youthful stamina. She didn't let herself think about the fact that he'd grown up knowing her, just that for the first time in years she felt a swooping excitement, butterflies, and so she'd let her gaze linger slightly on his lips the next time they came face to face. Then coming to her senses she'd torn herself away from him and told him she was going to get another drink.

It had actually been Harry who'd said that Teddy should apparate her home. He'd pulled her into a fierce hug at the end of the night and suggested that she might have had a little too much to drink, and that given that Ron wasn't here, maybe it was sensible that someone accompany her. It was that reminder, the kick in the teeth that Ron hadn't shown, that made her pull Teddy down into a kiss as soon as they landed at the apparition point near her home.

They'd later talked about that moment, Teddy telling her that he'd had a few drinks too had simply decided to go with it. He was single, he'd said, and he'd fantasised about getting his hands on her tits before, so why say no? He'd told her that she was her own woman, someone who could make their own decisions, and if that included shagging Teddy then who was he to stop her?

They hadn't planned to do it again, but a few weeks later she'd bumped into him after a particularly frustrating trial and she'd made a gut decision to ask him to follow her to a nearby hotel.

That had been months ago, and here they were again, a different hotel room this time, but together for the same reason.

She pulled her hand away from where she'd been touching him and Teddy's hips chased it. 'Don't get me wrong, I quite like how quickly you can get hard for me again. One of the perks of sleeping with someone far too young for me.' she said, looking him up and down.

He moved towards her. 'You know I don't care about the age gap.' he said. 'Uncle Draco brings home boys all the time. I say it's sexist that what you and I are doing would raise eyebrows.'

She pushed a finger to his lips. 'Shh. I know what you're going to say. But we've had that conversation. Right now I want you to take off all of your clothes and lay down on the bed, face up.'

'I love it when you talk dirty Hermione.'

She stood there watching as he undid his laces. 'Oh baby if you think that was dirty talk.' she smirked.

'Fuck.' Teddy swore. 'You're going to kill me Hermione. You fucking incredible sexy woman. Look at you.' He gestured at her as he pulled his shoes and socks off. 'You're gorgeous, amazing. I want to touch you so bad.'

'Badly.' she corrected automatically, and then cringed.

He laughed. 'If you say so _Mrs Granger-Weasley_.' he teased, pushing his trousers and boxers down in one go and practically leaping onto the bed.

She glanced down at him. 'Eager are we?'

'You have no idea. I've wanted you all week and now you're here, and we have the hotel, and fuck, you in your underwear. Merlin I want to bury my face in your tits.' He was tripping over his words and she walked around the bed, laughing.

'Teddy you need to calm down'

'I can't. I'm twenty-two and the woman of my dreams is in her underwear.'

'Woman of your dreams.' she scoffed. 'No need for flattery Teddy. Maybe before the stretch marks.'

'Don't patronise me. I've been with enough girls to know what I want.' He sat up and reached towards her. 'Now please, please, come and sit on my face.'

She laughed. 'You can go down on me, only because you asked so nicely. But I'm not sitting on your face, I'll crush you.'

'No you won't.' Teddy insisted, before grabbing her hand and pulled her on top of him. She gave in to it, and Merlin and he was finally touching her. He grabbed her hips and positioned her further up his abdomen, and then he was reaching up for her, pulling her towards him, kissing her while his hands roamed down her sides. His touch was electric. 'Fuck. Merlin. Fuck!'

She laughed again and he captured her lips with his, her breasts pushed against his toned chest. Their tongues touched and she felt him moan into his mouth. She could feel his cock every time he shifted so she leaned back to grind on him. She loved watching him lose it.

He pulled back slightly, eyes shifting to her face, and then she felt him reach behind her and pull at the top of her underwear. She groaned, eyes closing in pleasure. He did it again and she fell forward, bracing herself either side of him. It felt incredible, partly because of the pressure suddenly against her clit, but mostly because of the image in her mind. It was naughty, sexy, and she felt herself getting wet.

'You like that?' he asked, but before she had time to answer he pulled harder and she moaned into the side of his neck. She knew he loved how responsive she was, loved how she let go with him. He'd told her that it was because in public she was always so ordered, organised, sensible, but in bed, it was like she wasn't holding back.

He carried on teasing her with her underwear, kissing her neck, then he was pulling the cup of her bra down with his teeth then licking her nipple. She felt him still as he concentrated and then he wandlessly unclasped her bra.

She'd laughed the first time he'd done it and he'd said it was his favourite party trick, but now she just loved it for the effect it had on him. She'd called him a tit man before, and he had readily agreed.

She pulled back slightly and let her boobs swing in front of his face. He immediately used the opportunity to grab her hips and pull her up towards his face.

She yelped, slightly off balance. 'Teddy! I said I'd crush you!'

'No you won't. Come here, I wanted to taste you.'

She relented and shifted forward. He reached to pull her underwear to the side as she lined herself up with his mouth and then leaned forward to hold onto the headboard. He dived in, going straight for her clit, tongue lapping frantically. She swore above him and dropped her head to rest on her hands. It felt too good to stay upright. He was going hard and fast, just how she liked it, and she could feel herself getting closer.

'Merlin I love going down on you Hermione. You taste incredible.' he breathed up to her, before dragging his tongue through her folds and back up to her clit.

She was moaning constantly now and she imagined that his jaw was beginning to hurt, but he kept on relentlessly working her clit with his tongue. He moved his hands from her hips and grabbed her boobs, squeezing them gently, trying and failing to capture them all in his hands.

She could feel her wetness on his chin, the dull pleasure starting to spread out from her core. 'Don't fucking stop!' she shouted. 'Fuck. Yes, like that! Oh. Oh!' and then she was coming, moaning and grinding on him. He kept his tongue steady and let her ride out her orgasm, pleasure rushing up her body and down the tops of her thighs as she felt herself clench rhythmically.

He titled his hips and rolled them both to the side. She was still getting her breath back so she barely had time to process what he was doing before he pressed his face into her boobs. She heard him sigh and she rolled her eyes.

'This is what I get for getting myself a toy boy. Someone who hasn't got over naked breasts.'

He pulled back to look at her. 'Hermione.' he said solemnly. 'I will never get over your naked breasts'.

'Don't get attached Teddy.' she sighed. 'You know this isn't forever.'

'I know. But I can buy a pensive right?' he replied cheekily.

She ignored him. The last thing she needed right now was vials of memories of her cheating on her husband floating around, although she doubted he'd actually do it.

'That was incredible.' She propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him. 'Where did you learn all that by twenty-two?'

'A gentleman never kisses and tells.' he winked at her. 'See, I told you I wasn't too young.' She rolled her eyes again. This was becoming a habit with him. Sometimes the gap between them was just a bridge too far, and she couldn't help but slip into the role of family friend.

'Anyway,' He reached for her free arm and pressed it into his cock. 'Look what you've done to me.'

She smiled and wrapped her hand around him then began to stroke lightly. For all she complained about his youthful overconfidence, she found it refreshing. And she really did love his cock.

Even without his metamorphic abilities it was sizable. Much bigger than her husband's, which she tried not to think about too much. She was firmly in the 'if you know how to use it' camp, but there was something primal in the way it felt when Teddy pushed deep inside her. It had helped the time he'd fucked her against the wall too. She'd tried that position with Ron once but he'd kept slipping out which had rather ruined the moment.

She'd told Teddy as much afterwards, and he'd blushingly admitted that he knew about Ron. Apparently he'd once walked in on him in the bathroom on a big family holiday in Greece, a combination of Ron forgetting to lock the door and Teddy being in a rush after drinking too many shots of Ouzo with Victoire. She could tell that Teddy felt a little smug about being favouribly compared to the husband of the woman he was fucking, and after that he'd pushed her into the mattress and fucked her tortuously slowly whispering in her ear all sorts of filthy things about how she loved his big fat cock deep inside her. She'd felt a little guilty afterwards, but the sex had been incredible, so like everything else they were doing, she didn't think too hard about it.

She squeezed him tighter, fingers not even close to touching as he thrust into hand and groaned. She knew just how he liked it by now. 'Merlin Hermione I need to fuck you.' he breathed. His pupils were blown and she could tell he was fighting the urge to fuck her fist.

'I know.' she replied simply. 'How do you want me?' she asked. 'You use your tongue like that on me again later and you can have anything you want.' She liked teasing him like this. He was like a kid in Honeydukes and her experience gave her a different type of confidence, one that came with knowing herself and knowing what she liked. She liked to overwhelm him.

'Anything?' he quizzed.

'Anything.' she confirmed.

She saw him swallow before he nodded. This was too easy.

He leaned over to kiss her again. 'To start with, I want you on your hands and knees.'

She wasn't surprised. She knew that he loved fucking her from behind, watching his cock disappear into her, running his hands over her arse, reaching forward and playing with her clit as her breasts swung beneath her. She'd come to realise that he was a very visual man, and she loved indulging him.

She sat up and removed her underwear and he immediately reached out and ran his thumb over her clit. She shivered, still sensitive, and pushed his hand away. 'Not yet.'

Hermione shuffled to the centre of the bed and put her hands down as he peppered kisses down her side before gently biting her arse. Then he grabbed her arse with both hands and pushed it together before letting go. His love for her body really was such an ego boost. She'd never felt shy about it, but she was keenly aware that her curves, stretchmarks and scars very much told a story of being past forty and the mother of two children.

'Hermione, have I ever told you that your arse is phenomenal?' He cupped her cheeks and she felt him push them up then press the tip of his cock against where they met.

She laughed. 'Get on with it Lupin or I'll tie you up after all and leave you here.'

He went quiet and she felt him line himself up. He pushed his cock through her folds to slick himself but when he pushed inside, her mind went blank. She loved the feeling of that first press deep inside her, every nerve ending sending a rush of pleasure, relief, adrenaline coursing through her body. She felt goosebumps ripple over her arms and thighs and she closed her eyes to focus on the feeling.

'Nghh, Merlin fuck.' he breathed behind her, rocking gently until he was all the way in.

'Fuck Teddy.' she breathed as she felt her body adjust around him. 'Fuck me.'

She felt a burst of magical energy as his control snapped. He set a quick pace, gripping her arse hard, and she was sure he was watching it bounce as he pushed into her again and again and again. She glanced back and smiled at being proved right. She tightened her core and his eyes flashed to meet hers as he felt what she was doing.

'Fuck Hermione, how are you so tight?' She saw him shut his eyes, but then he was leaning forward, reaching to press his middle finger against her clit and she promptly stopped focusing on him as a burst of pleasure rushed through her body. He kept his finger pressed hard against her and she couldn't stop herself from getting even louder.

She felt him kiss up her back and then his lips were kissing the sensitive shell of her ear. 'You said anything right?' he whispered and she shivered at the sensation.

She felt like she was floating, right now she just wanted to surrender her body to him, trusting him to make her feel incredible. She nodded. 'I'm yours tonight Teddy.' She felt her smile against her ear.

He kissed her side in acknowledgement, and keeping his finger pressed against her clit, he took his left hand and sucked on his thumb until it was covered in spit. He did it loudly, she guessed so she knew what to expect. They hadn't done this before but she didn't stop him. She quite liked the feeling of a finger in her arse when she masturbated.

He slowed the pace slightly and pushed his thumb gently against her hole. The new sensation changed the tone of her pleasure and she groaned almost animalistically.

'Like that?' he asked.

'What do you think?' she shot back, although she currently had her face pressed into the pillow and she imagined her muffled voice didn't quite convey the tone she had intended.

He seemed to take it as an invitation anyway and he pushed his thumb further inside, holding it still while he fucked her and rubbed her clit. The triple sensation was too much given she'd already come and she felt the pleasure building inside her again, more quickly than before, rising sharply before it crashed over her, this time she felt her fingertips and toes tingle and she moaned through it.

'Merlin I love how loud you are. You liked that didn't you baby?' he heard him hesitate. 'Does he give it to you like I do?'

'Jealous?' she replied.

'Just interested.'

She hummed, eyes still closed from her second orgasm. 'Not like this.' she paused. 'He doesn't go for anal play either.'

'Do you want it Hermione?'

She paused. 'Let's try.'

He breathed out. 'Mmm I can work with that.'

He pulled out of her and laid her down until they were spooning. Then he dipped a finger inside her vagina before dragging it back to push it into her arse. She moaned quietly.

'Okay?'

'Yes.'

He began finger fucking her, his other hand reaching around her middle to run through her curls and then down to her clit. He kept this up for a while and Hermione found herself completely relax into the feeling. She felt weightless, like nothing else mattered. She could feel his rock hard erection pressed against her body but he didn't seem to be in a rush. Good boy, she thought, well done for knowing not to dive straight in.

She felt him add another finger. He must have done a wandless lubrication spell because she hardly felt the difference. Eventually he motioned for her to move back to hands and knees and she followed his physical instruction without question.

He pushed his cock back into her pussy and she moaned in surprise. 'Getting my dick nice and wet for you Hermione. Nice and wet so I can push it inside that tight arse. You want that baby? My fat dick inside your arse?'

Hermione groaned. 'You and your dirty talk' she humoured. 'Give it to me Teddy. Remind me what I'm missing.'

He breathed deeply through his nose, then the blunt tip of his cock was pressed against her entrance. The next moment she felt him pop inside. She was very relaxed, but even so, it burned slightly and she grimaced at the sensation, knowing it would get better, but suffering through the initial feeling nonetheless. But then he was reaching round again and rubbing circles around her clit, his nose pressed into her hair, and suddenly it felt good, amazing even. She rocked back on him slightly and then slowly he began to thrust.

'Oh fuck Teddy. Oh fuck!'

He straightened up for a while, and she took over from him, rubbing herself hard as his hands pulled her apart slightly.

'Do you think you can come like this?' he asked her.

She turned and looked at him. 'Perhaps.' she smirked, and blew him a kiss and she bounced her bum slowly around his dick. She used to feel jealous of how skinny Ginny had stayed, even after their three kids, whereas her own already curvy body had only become softer, bigger. But now, watching a twenty-two year old lose his mind at what he called her 'thick' arse, she found that she didn't care.

'Nngh Merlin fuck' he choked out. 'I think I've been patient enough don't you agree? I think I need a reward. I need touch your tits while I fuck you.'

'Oh really?' she kept bouncing, it felt good, and it was fun to watch him, even though the angle wasn't comfortable. 'If you must. I noticed you nearly creamed your pants like a teenager when I took my dress off, so I'm surprised, no, impressed, that you're still going.' She bantered back between catching her breath.

She pulled off him and turned, learning back against the pillows. He crawled up to her and pushed her legs apart. It took a few tries but finally he pushed back inside her arse, again his thumb pressed hard against her clit to take the edge off any pain. She reached back and gripped the headboard and rewarded Teddy with what he'd told her was one of his favourite views, her laid out for him, her natural hair a halo around her head and her boobs big and soft against her body.

'Come on then Lupin, give it to me like you know he can't.'

And fuck if that didn't do it. He pulled almost all the way out and thrust back inside, hard. Then he leaned forward and grabbed her boob, right thumb still pressed against her. How he didn't lose his balance she had no idea.

'Don't stop! Don't you dare stop.' she was moaning loudly again, eyes closed as he rubbed her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He fucked her hard and fast as he rubbed her clit frantically.

'Oh, right there. Oh, oh Merlin fuck I'm gonna come again!' she stuttered, her body protesting as everything contracted for a fourth time that evening. He grabbed her boobs in both hands and pushed his face into them as she felt his cock harden further and then he was shouting into her chest and she felt her body respond and a last tingle of pleasure as he stilled and pulsed inside of her.

'That sounded like it felt good.' she breathed.

'Mmm.' he managed to reply.

She laughed, and then winced as his cock slipped out.

'Oh, that feels weird.'

'Yeh? Stay there, I'll sort it.'

He got off the bed and dug his wand out of his discarded trouser pocket. He sat back next to her and he cast a gentle scourgify over her.

'Thanks. I'm still going to head to the bathroom though.' She felt his eyes on her as she got up and padded across the room.

By the time she came back he had accioed his packet of cigarettes and lit one, leaning back against the pillows.

'Stop that.' Hermione admonished as she stepped out of the ensuite. 'Even wizards can't cure lung cancer.'

'I'll take my chances'. He took another drag. 'I can make my own decisions.'

She got back into the bed next to him and turned to face him. 'I know you can.' she said simply. 'Doesn't mean they're always good decisions.'

He turned to look at her. 'Hermione, you are a decision I'd make time and time again.' He vanished the cigarette. 'I know I can't keep you. I know you're working on things at home. But selfishly, for now, I get to have you, and you are making this twenty-two year old's dreams come true.' He winked at her. 'You're confident, funny, and so fucking sexy that sometimes I have to wank in the loos at work when I think about our time together. The other trainees must think I have some sort of digestive problem.'

He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips and she blushed. 'I know this is an escape for you, and you know I'm happy to take what I can get.'

She looked him in the eyes but she saw nothing that made her think that he was lying. Instead just a carefree expression that from her experience, one loses with age. It made her feel slightly melancholic. Her youth had been taken from her, and while technically she'd been free of the chaos by the age of eighteen, it had robbed her of the optimsm she saw written across his face. Perhaps this affair was a way of reclaiming her youth she thought ruefully. A way to turn back time. Perhaps with a happier teenage experience she might have made different choices about her career, marrying young.

'You have a serious expression on right now.' Teddy quizzed, snapping her back to the present. 'What were you thinking about?'

'Nothing' she volleyed automatically, but he kept looking at her, his hand reaching to twist a few strands of hair near her ear. She dreaded to think what it looked like, she was going to regret not braiding it before she arrived. 'Well, not nothing.' she continued. 'Just, the impossibility of this.' He nodded. 'I imagine at some point it will all come crashing down around us.' she said finally.

'Not if we're careful.' he replied. 'I haven't told anyone.'

'I know you haven't. I just-' she paused. 'I don't know what will happen.'

He pulled her into a chaste kiss. 'Me neither.' He kissed her again. 'But for now we're here, we have all night, and we don't even have to think about tomorrow. And if it comes crashing down, well, I think we've both faced worse.'

\--

Tomorrow came sooner than she expected. They'd stayed up late, Teddy slowly fucking her again in the bed, then she'd gone to her knees for him in the shower, him a vision of washboard abs and dripping hair above her.

It felt like no time at all before her wand alarm was ringing and she was apparating shakily to her family home, the kitchen eerily quiet without the children careering around. The calm contrasted her bubbling guilt as she mentally adjusted from her fantasy life with Teddy, back to the daily reality of her job, her children, Ron.

Except it wasn't a fantasy life with Teddy, it was a double life. There was nothing fictional about the dull ache she felt when she sat at the kitchen table, or her tangled curls. Every time she did this, every time she spent the evening with him, she had to return to her role as wife and mother. It frustrated her that Ron was so distant from her that he still hadn't figured it out, and it terrified her that he would. What would his family say? What would Harry say?

She pulled herself out of her reverie and focused on getting ready for work. She finished her coffee, wrapped a colourful scarf around her hair, and grabbed a handful of floo powder from the pot on the mantle. She could do this. She knew from experience that the guilt would fade, and no doubt soon she'd be checking her diary for Ron's next work trip. Today was a new day, she told herself.

Hermione had barely cleared her intray before Harry popped his head into her office looking as tired as she felt. It wasn't unusual for the Head Auror to visit level ten but usually their meetings were scheduled.

'Harry!' she said, surprised. 'Everything okay? Were the kids okay last night?'

Harry leant against the doorway, uncertain in a way she hadn't seen on him in years. It reminded her of the time Ginny had become pregnant with Albus, when Harry had known Hermione and Ron had been trying without success for a while.

'The kids? Of yes, fine. Of course. I'm sure they all stayed up too late with products from your husband's workshop but they're old enough now that Ginny and I just put up a silencing charm. The boys know how to break it if they need us.'

She could tell there was something he wasn't saying. He was talking too quickly, he only did that when he was nervous. She was about to ask him about when he seemed to take a hold of himself. He stepped inside and shut the door before taking a seat opposite her desk.

She spelled her current dossier _confidential_ and levitated it to her _In progress_ pile. She really needed to close off a few cases this week.

Harry took a breath and looked at her. She felt her heart rate pick up, this didn't feel like it was going to be good news.

'Gin actually flooed yours last night. She was making hot chocolate and she couldn't remember if you'd said Hugo was allergic to magical marshmallows. She said you weren't there.'

Hermione's heart dropped to her stomach.

'I thought nothing of it.' Harry continued. 'But then I remember seeing you leave normal time yesterday.'

She could feel her pulse in her fingertips and she felt her anxiety levels rise. Surely he didn't know? They'd been so careful. No papertrail, no owls, no magical locations.

'Hermione-' he coughed. 'I have to ask, is there something going on? Only, it's just not like you not to mention that you'd be out.'

She took a breath to centre herself. He didn't know anything. The affair was certain to end soon anyway, she told herself. She could get through this conversation and then she'd call it off with Teddy. No one would ever know that anything had happened. She would go back to her life and forget about the last few months. She could do this.

'What do you mean?' she replied evenly.

'Oh come on Hermione. I've known you thirty years, we're best friends. Why would you be away from home when the kids were with us but not mention it? Are you in trouble?'

She met his eyes and he looked concerned. His green eyes sincere behind smudged frames.

It was that concern that made her give up. Her heart ached for Ron to look at her like Harry was looking at her now. Her husband should look at her like Harry was looking at her, at the end of a long day, wanting to know if she was okay.

Harry must have seen something in her eyes because she heard him breathe out slowly. 'There's someone else, isn't there?' he replied quietly.

She paused, her heart hammering inside her chest, then she nodded. Suddenly she was trying to hold back tears. She didn't know where they'd come from, but she was overwhelmed. The reality of the past few months hitting her all in one go, like a runaway Hogwarts Express. She'd cheated on her husband, her husband that no longer tried, yes, but her husband nonetheless. Her marriage was collapsing, affair or not, and she'd been living in a dream world where she could sleep with a man who was practically her nephew.

Harry sighed heavily. 'You have to tell him.' he said, calmly, and at that moment she was so incredibly grateful that he hadn't shouted. She knew that she wouldn't have been able to handle it. Maybe he knew that too. 'He's my best friend, and I can't keep this from him. You can't make me lie for you.' he stated. 'I-' he started. 'I know things have been rocky for a while. He's not said anything, just, I know him. I know you. But-' he paused again. 'Just please don't ask me to lie for you. I won't do it.'

She nodded again. She couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't have known that she'd been cheating on Ron with Teddy or he'd have been furious. Silver linings and all that.

He conjured a tissue, levitated it to her and then walked around to her. He put a hand on her shoulder and then seemed to think better of it and put it in the pocket of his robe instead. 'Tell me when it's done.' he said. 'Gin and I will take the kids again tonight, leave that with me. Then tomorrow-' he paused. 'Tomorrow let's talk.'

'Thank you.' she breathed and he nodded.

'Take the rest of the day off. I know I can't make you, I'm not your boss, but I think you should go home.' he said from the door, and then he was gone.

How she got home she wasn't quite sure. She was in shock, mindlessly following her usual routine until her robes were on their hook in their hallway, her shoes carefully tucked under the bench that Rose had accidentally spelled purple when she was three.

She'd wandered room to room, a cup of tea growing cold on the counter. At eleven she'd owled Ron saying they needed to talk when he got home. She didn't know what she'd done for the next six hours, but when he arrived at five on the dot, she could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew that everything was wrong.

He hadn't shouted. He hadn't said much of anything as she'd told him that she'd been sleeping with somebody else. She didn't tell him who, and he didn't ask, later saying that he didn't want to know. She could tell he hadn't processed it. He just kept twisting his wedding ring around and around, looking up to say something, but then staying silent instead.

She apologised. She cried. She told him they could make it work. He told her that he needed her to end the affair, and she nodded frantically, tears running down her cheeks.

The sun had long since set when he announced that he was going to stay at The Burrow that night and Hermione nodded, silently watching him apparate away from her seat at their kitchen table.

She'd sobbed into her hands as he left, eventually pouring herself a generous glass of wine and drinking it all in one go. The alcohol hit her hard, both physical and emotional exhaustion easing into unfocusedness. She could barely believe that it had been less than twenty four hours since she was screaming into a pillow as Teddy had made her come over and over.

Suddenly she was furious. How dare Ron walk out again? He'd walked out on her every time he'd stayed away, and now she'd made one mistake he was walking out again? She'd never once suspected he'd been cheating on her too, but now the wine told her that maybe he was having his own affair. Was he even staying at The Burrow like he'd said?

She had drunk another glass furiously, slamming it back on the table when empty and gasping as it shattered. The sharp pain cut through her anger and then she was sobbing again, guilt rising up inside her until she felt like she might be sick. What had she done?

She shakily reached for her wand and healed her hand. Then she wiped her eyes, finished a large glass of water, and simply stood there looking at her kitchen.

She needed to talk to someone. Harry had the kids so it couldn't be him. She wasn't ready to face her parents. She found herself at the fire, floo powder in hand, and not a single name on her lips. When had it come to this? When had she sacrificed her life for a man who didn't kiss her goodnight?

Before she knew it the flames were green and without thinking about what she was saying, the words _Teddy Lupin_ had spilled off her lips.

He was on the sofa when she appeared in the fireplace, a beer in one hand. 'Hermione!' he looked surprised. 'Are you alright?' and then he saw her face and she saw his expression turn dark. 'He knows, doesn't he?' he asked simply.

At that moment, as she floated in his fireplace, her knees against the cold floor of her own kitchen she felt weightless. She thought of Ron's face as she'd told him, of Harry's face, of her children. And then she didn't think at all.

'Can I come through?'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> \---  
> This work is part of the 2020 Harry Potter Cross Gen Fest. The author will be revealed at the end of August.


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